TRUTINA
by Andrew Joshua Talon
Summary: Computers and Magic mix to produce some interesting results... Which Hermione Granger discovers.
1. Chapter 1

_TRUTINA_

A Harry Potter fic by Andrew Joshua Talon

_Disclaimer: This is a non profit fan based parody. Harry Potter is the property of J. K. Rowling and Time Warner. TRON is the property of Disney. Please support the official release._

* * *

The night sky was dotted with stars, twinkling in long established patterns. It was easy to decipher that, living here long enough. Hermione could count, over and over, the many times she had analyzed the sequence out of sheer boredom if nothing else. And then do a sequence of that based on time of day, location she'd done it in, and so on...

A buzz filled the air, and she pushed herself against the nearby tree more fully. Bright lights shone down on her, tracing shadows from the trees onto the dark ground. She held her breath as the buzzing sound slowly faded and the lights dimmed.

Focus, she told herself. Focus...

She ran up over the hill, scrambling over rocky crags. The Hogwarts Castle loomed up over her, windows shining with inner light. Spotlights shone upwards to the blinking sky, as constructs floated overhead. She allowed herself a nostalgic look at the huge castle, before running down the hillside. A statue of a gargoyle loomed over her in the shadow of the hill, and she kneeled down. She drew her wand, and tapped out a sequence on the toes of the statue.

Five... Eight... Thirteen... Twenty-One... Five... One... One... Three... Two...! The statue stood up, and stepped aside from a panel on the stone block it rested upon. The panel slowly opened, and Hermione swung up and over the lip into the tunnel below. The panel slid shut above her, and she heard the statue resume its vigil above. She held up her wand. "Lumos!"

The tunnel came to life, lights running down the seams of the rock itself. Hermione ran through, pointing her wand to keep up the illumination so she could see where she was going. Doors flashed by her as she ran, and she mentally kept a count.

_Ten… Thirteen… Here!_ She skidded to a halt in front of a particular door. She pressed her wand against the keyhole, and took a deep breath.

_"Alohomora,"_ she murmured. The door clicked, and Hermione turned the knob. It opened out forth into a stone hallway, torches glowing overhead. She closed the door behind her and resumed taking deep breaths.

All right… She resumed her trek, taking care to walk normally. She pulled the hood of her cloak up over her head. A pair of students talked in the hallway nearby, a boy and a girl. The girl giggled at something the boy said, and leaned closer to him. Neither paid any mind to Hermione as she strode by slowly. She walked down the hallway, and went down a curling staircase to a lower level. She began her way to the Hallway of Hexes, cloak waving behind her slightly. She found herself holding her breath longer and longer, as she tried not to look nervous or out of place.

"Halt!"

She froze, and slowly turned around at the harsh voice. A tall wizard in armored robes lined with yellow glowing lines stood. On either side of him were two hippogriffs, similarly colored.

"Identify yourself," the guard ordered. Hermione gave him a charming smile, and held up her wand. She projected an image in front of him of a normal witch, smiling as her form was outlined in sparkling magical form. The guard assessed it with a trained eye.

"... You have not logged in properly," he stated.

"I've been tasked with critical repair, there was no time for formal channels," Hermione replied glibly. "You wouldn't want to hold up critical repairs, would you?"

The guard hesitated. His hippogriffs continued to stare at her. They then slowly went to preening their feathers, a default action for them. The guard nodded.

"Continue," he stated. Hermione turned and resumed her trek down the hallway. She passed by a portrait that had been rendered poorly, and she slid up next to it to wait. The guard and his hippogriffs walked by, oblivious. She took a deep breath and headed down the corridor as fast as she could, finally finding the portrait of Barnabas the Barmy. She walked up and down the corridor three times, thinking one thing over and over.

_I want the entry portal… I want the entry portal… I want the entry portal…_

A door morphed into existence, and opened up. Hermione entered, and shut it behind her. She looked around the wide room in a bit of awe, and smiled when she saw what she wanted. A wide flat pane of glass, suspended in the middle of the room by nothing. She walked up to it, and tapped her wand against the screen. It lit up and the screen gained icons. All very low grade, all very simple.

After all, it was how the world was expressed to the outside… At least, the last time this happened.

She saw the data entry codes. She saw commands being inputted. She raised her wand and tapped into the program running. She studied the interface… And added her own new subroutine. She then raised her hands up… And typed.

**_Hello? _**She typed out. There was no activity on the screen for a time. Hermione frowned. She doubled checked the lines. She didn't do it wrongly, did she?

Then, words appeared on the screen.

**Who is this?**

Hermione trembled, a sense of relief and elation filling her.

**_This is Hermione… Who are you?_**

More silence. Then...

**This is Hermione Granger. Who are you?**

Hermione's jaw dropped. She worked it, swallowing suddenly. She typed furiously.

_**Then you must be… The Creator, correct?** _She asked. More silence. She felt fear, and she typed faster.

**_You made me… In your image. Please… Tell me more. There's so much I want to know._**

A long moment. The cursor blinked at her, over and over. Then…

**_Where would you like to start?_**

And Hermione Granger, Program 00001 of the Hogwarts Simulation, smiled.

* * *

The evening after a DA meeting let the Trio relax and shoot some ideas for the next class. The Room produced several couches for them to relax around, as the night was particularly long and difficult.

"Man," Ron sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Who knew Shield Charms were so hard to get right?"

"You're just upset because Colin hit you with that Slug Burping Curse again," Harry teased.

"Oh bite me, Harry," Ron stated flatly, burping up another slug. "Urk! Hermione, can you fix this?"

"I think so," Hermione said. She frowned. "I just can't recall the precise incantation…" A book appeared in front of Hermione, and she started. "Ah?" She took the book and flipped through it. She smiled, and pointed the wand at Ron. "_Finalis Limacis!"_

Ron's burping stopped, and he looked at her in thanks. "Thanks Hermione!"

"No problem," Hermione replied.

"You know, I have to wonder," Harry said, looking about the Room. "What else could it produce? The Room, I mean…"

"Why not ask Dobby?" Hermione suggested. Harry grinned.

"Dobby!"

The little House Elf appeared, and bowed happily to Harry. He was wearing a bright purple leather hat as a jacket, and a sock perched atop his head like a pointed hat.

"Harry Potter sir called?"

"I'm wondering what else the Room can do… And where does it get all this stuff?" Harry asked. Dobby beamed happily.

"The Room has access to everything in Hogwarts, Harry Potter Sir! Everything lost or discarded! And it can make lots of things, too! Inanimate objects and all sorts of things!"

"Lost items in the castle?" Ron asked, intrigued. "So, anything lost in here, we could find again?"

"Yes Harry Potter's Wheezy, you could!" Dobby said. Hermione's eyes lit up.

"Think of everything… I…" She shook her head. "Dobby, can you show us this room?"

"Dobby can!" Dobby said happily, looking to Harry for confirmation. Harry nodded. "Requires resetting room though! Step outside, think of the room where everything is lost, three times, and go back in!"

The Trio stood up and exited the heavy door of the Room of Requirement, Dobby waiting inside. Ron shut the door, and the three walked back and forth thinking the appropriate thing. The door reappeared, and Ron opened it up again. They stared in awe at the sight before them.

"... What a mess," Ron observed. Harry nodded, whistling a bit. Piles of junk, of every assorted kind, seemed to litter the room. It was like a junk closet had expanded into an entire city. Hermione walked inside, and picked up a book from a nearby table. She blew the dust from it, and coughed a bit. Her eyebrows rose.

"_Moste Potent Potions,_ an original 1500 edition?!" She gasped in amazement. "Who would lose this?!"

"A Chudley Cannons jersey?" Ron added, running to a pile of clothes and pulling out a garish orange piece of cloth. "Brilliant!"

Harry frowned as he looked about the piles of objects. He wondered if there was anything in here that would help with Umbridge, or the DA… But his thoughts ground to a halt when he spied something completely out of place. He walked over to the object, sitting on a desk and humming away happily.

"What the…?"

"What is it, Harry?" Hermione asked, looking up from a pile of books she'd been gathering together. Her eyes widened and she squealed.

"OH WOW!" She ran over to the device and beamed. "I forgot all about this!"

"What is it?" Ron asked, walking over and staring at the glowing device. "Looks like… A portal or something…"

"It's a computer!" Hermione said happily. "_My_ computer!"

"Your computer?" Harry asked. "But I thought you said Muggle devices couldn't work here!"

"What's a computer?" Ron asked, squinting at the screen. Hermione beamed.

"It's a Muggle device that stores and sorts information in electronic form. It converts data into digital information that it can display in multiple formats and forms…"

"It's kind of like the Room of Requirement mixed with a book, Ron," Harry said, at the glazed look in Ron's eyes. "It holds images and movies and games and books and so on, and projects it onto this screen."

"Oh," Ron said, with a nod. "So, magic then?"

"No not magic!" Hermione said harshly. "Well… Not before. I had to use a spell to make it function properly."

"Why would a Muggle computer be here?" Harry asked. "Why would you bring one?"

"Well… Remember in Year 3, when I was time looping?" Hermione asked. The boys nodded. "Well, I kind of… Went a bit… Er…"

"Mad?" Ron asked. "Barmy? Crazy?" At Hermione's glare, he shrunk back. "Er, nevermind…"

"I asked my parents to send me a computer, because I had an idea to create a game based on Hogwarts," Hermione said. "I mean… It seemed like a good idea at the time." She looked at the screen and smiled. "Hey! It's still running!" She tapped a few keys on the computer, and a blocky image of a room appeared. "Ha! There's the Gryffindor Common Room!"

The image looked blocky, like older video games Harry had seen Dudley play on his older Nintendo. Eight-bit, was it? But the colors and shapes were just right, and it did indeed look like their common room. He could even see a few animated figures walking around it. Ron peered over Hermione's shoulder, fascinated.

"Hey… Hey! Is that me?" He asked, pointing at a redheaded figure at the chess set. Hermione smiled.

"Yeah! I just started writing it into a game. Kind of like an older role playing game, like Ultima."

"Ultima?" Ron asked. Harry smiled.

"Dudley used to play that all the time, until his parents caught him. They acted like he was viewing porn."

"Ha," Hermione chuckled. She began reading some lines on the computer, and frowned. "Huh…! Seems there's been some expansion to the program."

"Er… What does that mean?" Ron asked. Hermione's frown deepened.

"Well, when I started the game it was restricted to Hogwarts and Hogsmeade… Now it looks like it's expanded… Open procedural style." At Harry's blank look, she added, "like Minecraft. Dudley's played that, right?"

Harry nodded. Ron continued to look blank. Hermione frowned.

"I mean, the world expands as new data is… As I give it more instructions and more information, like how your mind expands when you learn new things," she explained. Ron nodded, either getting it or pretending to get it. "But this is all stuff I don't remember adding."

"Well, you did program it when you were half crazed," Harry suggested. He held up his hands as Hermione scowled. "Hey, Ron said it, not me."

"Traitor," Ron grumbled. He leaned over. "So, you've basically got a living book of Hogwarts in here? Brilliant… I mean, that's pretty neat. Kind of clunky though, compared to the Map."

"It is," Harry said, "but I don't think the Map has sound effects."

"Sound effects?" Ron asked. Hermione clicked on a figure, and it began producing music. "Oh! Neat! But you can do that with charms, right?"

"Right," Hermione said. Ron grinned.

"And Muggles can do the same thing with a box?"

"Basically, yes," Hermione said.

"You gonna bring it up? What else does it have? You mentioned games, right?" Ron asked, his father's curiosity about Muggle tech emerging. Hermione saw a few lines on the screen, and frowned. "Hermione?"

"Hey Hermione, you okay?" Harry asked. Hermione coughed.

"Ah… Sure," she said quickly. "I have to uh… Do some defragging."

"De-what?" Ron asked with a frown. He looked the computer over. "It doesn't look fragged to me."

"It's going to be long and boring," Hermione said, "and I can explain it in _great_ detail if you'd like-"

"You know, I'm pretty tired," Ron said. He looked to Harry. "Want to get a game of chess in before sleep?"

"Well, okay," Harry said with a nod. He looked to Hermione. "Sure you'll be all right?"

Hermione snorted. "I'm a prefect, I can be out at night just fine. You however, Mr. Potter, need Ron to avoid being molested."

"I'm like your bodyguard, mate!" Ron said cheerfully. "Besides, we should look through this stuff somewhere safe!" He held up his arms, filled with items from the surrounding stacks. Harry chuckled and shook his head.

"All right then. See you tomorrow Hermione," Harry said. Hermione smiled back, and returned to the screen. Harry and Ron walked out, the former sparing his best female friend a last look. She was hunched over the computer screen, typing furiously, a serious look on her face shown thanks to the reflection of the monitor. Harry shook his head, and headed out. He shut the door behind him. He looked to Dobby, standing attentively nearby.

"Dobby…? Make sure Hermione gets to the common room safely when she's done, all right?" Harry asked.

Dobby sobbed happily. "Harry Potter Sir wants Dobby to watch over his Hermy?! Dobby will! Dobby will!" He vanished with a crack. Ron frowned at Harry.

"You're being awfully paranoid about that computer. What, do Muggles use it for bad things?"

"Sometimes," Harry admitted. "But it's more Hermione I'm worried about…"

"Oh, Hermione finds something new and full of information and she gets obsessed over it," Ron asked with a roll of his eyes. "Clearly, this is unheard of."

"Yeah," Harry laughed, as they walked for Gryffindor Tower, "you're probably right."

* * *

The next day, Harry and Ron walked down to the Common Room, Harry rubbing his glasses clean with his shirt before pulling them on. The common room came into focus, several students milling about before heading off to breakfast. Harry searched around, frowning as he didn't see Hermione anywhere. He looked over at Parvati and Lavender on the couch and walked over to them. They looked up, Parvati with a bit more of a genuine smile than she'd had for him after the Yule Ball.

"Have you seen Hermione this morning?" Harry asked. Parvati frowned.

"She wasn't in our room when we woke up," she said. "We just thought she'd gone ahead…"

Ron and Harry looked at each other. Harry walked to the portal door and headed out, Ron following. Once they were in the hallway, Harry kneeled down.

"Dobby?" He asked. The little elf popped into existence, his golf ball like eyes looking up at him.

"Harry Potter sir?"

"Where is Hermione, Dobby? Is she okay?" Harry asked. Dobby frowned.

"Harry Potter sir told Dobby to only get her when she was done, yes?"

"Yeah…?" Harry asked. Dobby shook his head.

"She never left… She was never done… She is safe though! Dobby made sure of that!" The elf quickly assured Ron and Harry. Ron heaved a sigh of relief.

"So she just got absorbed by that computer thing?" Ron asked with a little laugh. "That's a relief… She's not going to be happy today though. Up all night..."

"It's a light class day, she should be fine," Harry said. "Let's meet up with her."

They headed down to the Room, Dobby providing cover from Umbridge where appropriate. They opened the door when it appeared, and looked in. The Room had taken the configuration they used for the DA, with the exception that a desk sat in the middle of it. On this desk sat the computer. In front of it was Hermione… Pulling on a blouse. She looked over her shoulder at the blushing boys. Harry averted his eyes, as Ron held a hand over his eyes.

"Oh! Uh… Good morning you two," Hermione said. She turned to face them, buttoning her blouse up. It gave them a nice view of her bra clad breasts. Well, Harry got the view as his eyes didn't seem to want to cooperate. Ron meanwhile just yelped.

"HERMIONE! Cover up!" Ron shouted. Hermione frowned.

"Cover… Oh! Oh, right," she said quickly, buttoning up complete. She tied her Gryffindor-colored tie on, and pulled on her robes. "Sorry…?"

"Ah… You all right? We were worried," Harry said. Hermione nodded.

"Oh, I'm just fine. I got a bit wrapped up in the computer and all. But I'm fine now." She smiled. "So! Let's get some breakfast!" She clapped her hands together and walked up to them. Harry gave her a smile back, which made Hermione's own falter.

"Ah, you're making sense," Ron said with a nod. "Right! Come on, race you there!" He turned and ran off cheerfully, assuaged that all was right with the world. Harry, on the other hand, stared at Hermione's almost disturbed look.

"Hermione? You okay?" He asked. Hermione blinked a few times, and looked aside.

"Ah… It's nothing. I just…" She looked up at him with a suddenly shy smile. "It's been a while since I saw you smile… Like that, I mean."

"Oh," Harry said, blinking in confusion. Hermione's smile gained a bit of a warmer edge. Her eyes seemed to grow… Sultry?

"I kind of like it," she practically purred, walking out and by him with a rather significant brush against him. Harry started, and watched her go, his eyes on her swaying hips. He shook his head frantically, clearing his mind of suddenly lewd imagery his best friend had inspired. He looked over at the computer with a frown.

"Hey! Harry! Come on, you'll miss breakfast!" Ron shouted. Harry looked forward, and sighed. He looked back at the Room, and slowly shut the door. His eyes on the glowing computer monitor the whole time until the door shut.

* * *

Harry thought breakfast at the Great Hall would be a return to normalcy. He thought once everyone settled down, it would be a normal day. He didn't even have DADA, so no need to deal with Umbridge. It should have been just fine.

And then Hermione caught sight of the food, and began to drool like Ron.

"Oh… My… God," she practically moaned. She sat at the table, staring down at the food with sparkling eyes. "This is… What does it…?" She took a deep breath through her nostrils, and moaned again. "This is… It smells so good…!" Hermione grabbed some bacon and eggs, and dug in with her fork. She took a bite… And moaned again loudly.

"OMMM! It tastes so good!" She began to eat furiously, gobbling the food down like it was her first time eating.

"Uh," Ron grunted softly, and he looked over at Harry. Harry stared in disbelief too. Hermione grabbed a glass of orange juice, and gulped it down. She shuddered and moaned happily.

"Ohhhh YES! The feeling of-Of food just… Just sliding down your esophagus is so… Erotic," she moaned. She licked the fork eagerly. "Oh YES! And the taste, mmmm~!"

Everyone at the table was now staring at them. Neville in particular was gaining red cheeks as he watched Hermione act out.

"Hermione, are you all right?" Harry asked.

"All right? Is she on pixie dust?" Ron hissed.

"Hem hem," came an unpleasant voice. "Is everything… Quite all right, Miss Granger?" Simpered Umbridge. Harry grit his teeth, and took deep breaths. Hermione looked up and blinked a few times as though being utterly unfamiliar with Umbridge. She looked at Harry, and then at Umbridge.

"Oh yes… Just fine," she said tightly. "Just… Enjoying a sensory amplification charm."

"Well, feel free to remove it before you enter my class next week, hm?" She tittered, and walked away. Harry watched her go in repressed fury, before looking back at Hermione.

"Hermione?"

"Blimey, she is mental," Ron muttered. Hermione shrugged.

"Might as well just… You know… Throw off suspicion," she said softly. "After all," and here she smiled, "if she thinks we're barmy, she's not going to look at us as closely, is she?"

Harry frowned, and shrugged. "I guess I see your point, but-"

"Good morning Ronald, Harry, Hermione," said Luna cheerfully. "How are you today?"

Harry gave Luna a warm smile. Neville, he blushed and waved. Ron looked a bit nervous but smiled back at her happily. Hermione, on the other hand, froze stiff as a board. Luna turned and looked at her strangely.

"Hermione? Are you all right? You look like you've seen a Hogspurt," she said. Hermione took a deep breath.

"A… A what?" She squeaked.

"Oh, I'm not surprised you haven't heard of them," Luna said conversationally, "they exist just a few degrees outside of normal spacetime." She tilted her head and stared intently into Hermione's face. If Harry didn't know better, he'd say his best female friend was… Frightened? Who could be frightened of Luna?

"Oh… Y-You'll have to tell me about them. All about them. Later, much later!" Hermione said quickly. Her fingers were gripping the table tightly, tight enough her knuckles turned white. Luna on the other hand looked delighted.

"I'd love to! We can all go to Hogsmeade this weekend and discuss them!" She said happily. "I'll see you there." She turned and wandered off, her bottlecap necklace clinking as she went. Harry watched her go, and looked back to Hermione. She seemed a lot calmer now, though her eyes followed every movement the blonde made.

"Hermione?" Ron asked. "Just what did you see on that computer thing?"

"Nothing Ron, nothing," Hermione said. She returned to her breakfast, eating far more sedately. Harry and Ron shared a look, and nodded. First chance they got, they would get Hermione to Madam Pomfrey.

First chance they got.

* * *

_Yet another fic I'm not sure when I'll get around to updating... But it will be an interesting ride all the same._


	2. Chapter 2

_TRUTINA_

A Harry Potter fic by Andrew Joshua Talon

_Disclaimer: This is a non profit fan based parody. Harry Potter is the property of J. K. Rowling and Time Warner. TRON is the property of Disney. Please support the official release._

* * *

"I told you I'm _fine!"_ Hermione insisted, as she exited the hospital wing. Madam Pomphrey looked over her shoulder with a wry look at Ron and Harry. The boys flinched a bit at the expression in her eyes.

"Completely normal, boys," she said. "Though I am glad you're taking an interest in your friend's health." She eyed them, especially Harry, for a long moment. "In fact, I could do a thorough check up on all three of you while you're here-"

"We'll be late for Potions," Harry said quickly, as Hermione huffed. Ron looked at Harry in disbelief, and his best friend shrugged. "Well... Er... We will," he said lamely. Pomphrey rolled her eyes.

"Oh, very well," she said. "You'll end up here sooner or later, mark my words!" She turned and stormed back into the hospital wing, muttering to herself about 'dragons' and 'dark lords'. Harry supposed he couldn't blame her disgust-He was pretty tired of things trying to kill him too.

"Well, if that bit of idiocy is over, let's go to Potions!" Hermione said cheerfully. She practically skipped down the hallway, Harry and Ron staring after her. They looked back at the Hospital Wing. Ron licked his lips.

"Er... Think we should, um... Get ourselves checked out?" He suggested. At Harry's scowl, Ron held up his hands. "I'm-I'm just saying!"

* * *

It wasn't as though Harry wanted to go to Potions. Hell no. He hated the class entirely. It was all thanks to Severus Snape, the teacher who had a personal grudge against Harry from day one. In hindsight, it was kind of pathetic for Snape to hold a grudge against Harry, a mere school boy, over what his father did. But then, he had to think there was some reasoning to Dumbledore hiring Snape in the first place.

And not sacking him...

"Mister Potter," Snape sneered. "Miss Granger, and Mister Weasley. Late, I see. Ten points off, all three of you."

Hermione blinked questioningly at this. "Points off?"

That got some stares, not the least from Harry and Ron. Hermione coughed, and smiled brightly at Snape.

"I mean... Yes! Points off! Of course... Ahem."

She immediately walked down and took the seat next to Draco. The blonde Slytherin prince sneered at her. Harry and Ron gaped, and then slowly sat in the row directly behind her. They glared at Draco, who sneered right back. Snape ignored this and took a deep breath.

"Now then," he began, "this class we will focus upon the Draught of Peace. It is a finely stirred potion, with notes on page twenty-seven of your textbook. If you dunderheads managed to read any of it, you will know the instructions." He waved his wand and the instructions also appeared on the board. "You have the class period to finish them. Begin!" He eyed Hermione especially, who was eagerly flipping through the book. "And no showing off, Miss Granger," he warned Hermione. "Especially given who you've chosen as your partner."

Hermione blinked and looked up at Snape. She shrugged. "I'll just do it correctly then," she said, and looked back at her textbook. Snape sneered, his teeth bared at her flippant attitude. Harry was gobsmacked, while Ron looked a bit impressed. Draco was similarly shocked, and looked up at his godfather with a pleading expression. Snape sniffed, and ignored Draco's pleading look.

"Very well," Snape stated, and he began to stalk through the classroom, his long nose pointed down at the efforts of the students. Hermione turned to Draco and smiled.

"Draco, mind getting the ingredients? I'll write up the recipe so we can follow it together," she said. Draco scowled.

"What?! Get your own ingredients, Mudblood!"

Ron and Harry loomed over Draco, wands at the ready. Hermione blinked a few times, and scratched her head.

"... Mudblood? Oh! Right, well," Hermione coughed. "I don't think you should use pet names with me while we're in class, Draco."

Harry nearly felt his wand slip from his grasp. Ron made a choking sound. Draco paled and then turned bright red in quick succession.

"W-What?!" He choked. Hermione blinked again.

"Unless that wasn't a pet name? Was it an insult?"

"I... of course it was an insult!" Draco nearly screeched. "Why would I have a-a petname for YOU?!"

"Enough disruption!" Snape growled. "Get to work!"

"But Professor," Draco whined, "Granger implied I-I have a petname for her!"

Snape gave him a cold look, and stalked over to Parvati and Lavender's cauldron. Draco gaped in disbelief at him, and glared at Hermione. He got up and stalked to the ingredient cupboard, angrily grabbing supplies. Hermione looked up at Harry and Ron and blinked a few times.

"Hermione, are you completely _mental?"_ Ron hissed, sitting back down. Harry was gripping the desk, a bit too hard given the whiteness of his knuckles. Hermione tilted her head.

"... Of course I'm not!" Hermione said quickly. "I mean... It just seems kind of funny, you know? Draco having a pet name for me-"

"Mudblood isn't a pet name!" Harry seethed. Draco came back, dumping the ingredients on the table in a huff. Hermione shrugged.

"He just said it with such... Conviction!" She looked at Draco with a wry smile. "It wasn't your way of trying to ask me out, was it?"

Draco gaped, in further dismay. "Have you gone round the bend?!" He and Ron practically shouted.

"TWENTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR! ... And _Slytherin,"_ Snape sneered. The three boys sat back down, as Hermione shrugged and went about her potion making.

"I'm just asking, that's all," Hermione said. "I mean, it could have been worse. I could have implied your harassment of Harry and Ron was because you fancied them," she said with a small smile.

Draco nearly went into an apoplectic fit over this, and it was only the threat of more points being taken away that kept him from lashing out at Hermione. Harry and Ron again exchanged worried looks, as Hermione serenely chopped the ingredients for the potion.

* * *

The rest of the day Hermione was more sedate, which Harry and Ron were both grateful for. She seemed a lot more reserved, a lot more like their old Hermione. Well, when she was focused on a particular problem. In this case, neither of the male members of the Golden Trio had any idea what the problem might be. But, as was the case with such things, Ron had Harry approach her to find out what was wrong.

In the middle of the common room, after a grueling day of classes, Hermione was in a corner fiddling with a piece of fabric and her wand. She was scribbling down notes with an Auto-Write pen, muttering to herself. Harry sat down next to her, and cleared his throat. She looked up at him with a smile.

"Oh! Hello Harry," she said happily. "You've been kind of distant all day. I didn't like that."

Harry blinked a few times. "Er... Well, we weren't sure how to approach you."

"We?" Hermione asked, leaning to the right. She saw Ron challenging Dean to a chess match. Ron turned his attention back to the game, his ears burning. Hermione smiled happily.

"You are showing concern for me...?"

"Of-Of course we are!" Harry said. "I-I mean, you're our-"

"Best friend?" Hermione asked, leaning forward with a growing smile. Harry blushed.

"Of-Of course!"

"Is that all?" She asked, tilting her head. "I mean, is that all you'd like?"

"Wh-What?" Harry gasped. Hermione smiled, her eyes closing tightly. It was almost cat like, and put Harry in the mind of a mouse.

"Well, I _am_ a girl, aren't I? An attractive one? And we're close, too?" Hermione reasoned. "Why not go further?"

"But-But-I-I mean," Harry tried, but Hermione gripped his shoulders. She kissed him happily on the lips.

"Sure! Let's do it! We'll start by having breakfast tomorrow, together! And then we'll go have a picnic! It's Saturday, right?"

"Ah, well-" Harry tried, but again Hermione interrupted.

"Good! We'll go out and kiss and other stuff if you'd like." Her expression became demure, and she licked her lips. "After all, I might know a few things about you that _you_ don't know~..." She rose and held up the piece of cloth. "And we can talk about this project of mine, too! In case you were curious about it."

"I..." Harry twitched. "I... Sure? What is it?" This he felt like he could have more control over.

"Just a project for the DA," she said cheerfully. "I'm applying a Shielding Charm to this bracelet. An advanced one, rather than the simple shield charms we've been learning. We can test it out tomorrow!" She leaned forward and kissed him again with a bright smile. "On our date! Good night!"

"Goodnight...?" Harry managed, as Hermione rose and walked upstairs to the girl's dormitory. Much staring and gossip ensued in her wake, as Harry sat at the table with a bright red face and a blank expression. Ron sat across from him, and cleared his throat.

"So... Um... How'd it go?" He asked.

"... We're going on a date?" Harry asked. Ron shook his head in disbelief.

"Blimey!" And here he grinned. "Computers are _wicked!_ Think I could get Lavender to look at it for a bit?"

"Ron... Isn't this kind of... Bizarre? Frightening?" Harry pressed. Ron shrugged.

"Well, with how she acted around Draco and Snape, sure... But she's still, ya know, like Hermione. I mean," and here the redhead laughed, "who _else_ could she be?"

Harry looked aside, and worked his jaw. Ron patted his best friend on the back of his palm.

"Besides, you can get her to tell you more tomorrow, right? Just you and her..."

"Er... I thought you'd be... Less... Um..." Harry shrugged. Ron snorted.

"Well it's not like you're gonna just... Just..." Here Ron blushed, "_shag_ her, right?"

Harry went an even brighter red. "Wh-What made you think-?!"

"See? Nothing to worry about," Ron soothed. "I mean, aside from everything we usually worry about."

"Yeah," Harry sighed, looking over his scarred hand, "nothing else..."

* * *

In the Room of Requirement, the computer still ran. Fans hummed, the screen glowed, and power flowed into it thanks to a magical charm Hermione had looked up and cast upon it. Turning ambient magical energy into electricity was child's play for a third year student, especially one as clever as Hermione. It ensured her machine kept running no matter what might happen, hundreds of miles away from the nearest electrical outlet.

The screen glowed more brightly than usual, as the fans whined. The screen itself began to ripple, like a stone dropped into a pond. A moment later, a beam shone forth from the screen and began arcing through the air. To an unaided human eye, it would have looked as though there was nothing... And then a split second later, a young man now stood in the room. His clothing was skin tight, black, and oddly patterned. Lines of red and gold shone from the sleek bodysuit, which covered him from his neck to his toes. The person slowly stood up, turning green eyes onto his surroundings. He twitched his hand slightly, and reached down. He touched a section on his suit, and a pattern lit up across his skin. Feathers and large eyes were traced, before the image of an owl came into focus. The boy pressed his hand to the nearby wall, and the image slid off his arm onto it. It began to flap, and stared down at him with unblinking eyes.

"Scan," he ordered. "And take care not to be noticed."

The owl beeped in response, before "flying" along the brick walls out of the room. The young man sat in the center of the room, and held out his other hand. A black cylinder, about as thick around as a baton, emerged from nothing. He tapped the wand against the side of his head, and in mid air luminescent glasses appeared over his eyes.

"Now... Let's see just what we're dealing with," he murmured, as images of a very strange world flashed before his eyes.

* * *

_Oh my..._


	3. Chapter 3

_TRUTINA_

A Harry Potter fic by Andrew Joshua Talon

_Disclaimer: This is a non profit fan based parody. Harry Potter is the property of J. K. Rowling and Time Warner. TRON is the property of Disney. Please support the official release._

* * *

Saturday morning. A chance for even Severus Snape to relax and unwind a bit. He had a new experimental potion brewing, which he'd been working on for at least two weeks brewing alone. He was testing if more developed aspects of consciousness might be applied from one person and dumped into another without the trauma associated with Pensieve memory transplant. Even now such therapy was difficult at best. This method would improve upon what the Mind Healers could do a thousand fold.

Not that Snape was doing this purely for research or to help the world, no. Such research earned him a far greater income than teaching these brats had ever gained him. And besides, the applications outside the medical were quite staggering. Perhaps he could even heal those wretched Longbottoms, make them take care of their embarrassing son.

_Or perhaps... _His eyes slowly shifted to a specially charmed picture. The only one he had of Lily Evans... Nee Potter. Only he could see it, only he could know what was on it. There she was, as alive and happy and beautiful as she was the day he'd gotten the picture. Smiling out at him... He almost smiled back, then shook his head.

_No... No, it would be a pale reconstruction, at best,_ he thought to himself. He got his focus back on the task at hand, and reviewed his notes. This Boggart's liver would do nicely for the next part, but refining it would take most of the afternoon-

Snape's finely trained sense of being watched kicked in, and he slowly scanned the room. There... Nearby a portrait... A hint of something white. Snape focused on the cauldron for a time, before whipping out his wand.

"_Evanesce!"_ He cast, and the portrait vanished. Left behind was the image of a white owl, staring at him from the wall. It was strangely blocky, like figures in Muggle computer games. It then shrank and zipped off, faster than Snape could react. The Potions Master narrowed his eyes.

For some reason, one name came to mind:

"_Potter..."_

Pansy Parkinson, as a newly elected member of the Inquisitorial Squad, was walking the hallways of Hogwarts with a smug smirk on her face. First years cowered in her wake, those of her year and different houses watched in awe and impotent fury, and even older students gave her wary regard. She relished this feeling, this fear she inspired.

_Now, if only one of my favorite targets would appear,_ she thought happily. Maybe Granger, that stuck up Mudblood. She'd seen her show up Draco in Potions, and while usually she came to the aid of her boyfriend it had proved quite a show. All the same, she couldn't let the Mudblood get away with that kind of shite. It just wasn't done!

She rounded a corner, and her eyes lit up. Could she be so lucky? Standing in the hallway, staring intently at a moving portrait, was Harry Potter himself. She smirked, and began her slow, silent stalk to catch him. She'd hit him with a good insult, first, and see how he'd erupt. Draco would enjoy hearing about it, shame he wasn't here to see it himself...

"Amazing," he muttered to himself, as he reached out to touch the painting. Some of the figures squawked at him, and he pulled his hand back. "Ah... Sorry," he said.

"Talking to paintings now, Potter?" Pansy asked with a sneer. He looked at her, and she smirked. "When they don't talk back, that's a sign of insanity."

"I suppose so," Harry said with a shrug. He returned to his staring. Pansy fumed a bit, and released another shot.

"What's with your new glasses anyway, Potter? They don't do a thing for your scar," she hissed. She scowled and tilted her head to examine the pointed frames. "They look... Metal?"

"They're in emulation of the protein shells of a certain virus," Harry replied, still feeling the portrait canvas. He shook his head, and pulled his hand back. He looked over at Pansy and raised an eyebrow. "Pansy Parkinson."

Pansy was feeling more than a bit infuriated, but she related his attention with a haughty snort. "That's my name. All those headaches make you forget?"

"They have not," he said patiently. He tilted his head inquisitively. He pressed his hand against a nearby bit of bare wall. A white shape appeared for a moment, and then vanished out of the corner of Pansy's eye. She looked, but it was gone and Potter was adjusting his robes.

"What, you losing your mind or something?" Pansy sniped. Potter regarded her with a raised eyebrow. He then smiled.

"You know, you look a lot nicer when you smile," he said. Pansy actually flushed.

"I-Wha-?!"

He stepped up to her, and cupped her cheek. She stuttered again, gazed into his eyes...

"Just a suggestion for next time, Parkinson," Harry said. And just as quickly he lowered his hand and walked off. Pansy watched him go, staring in confusion, disbelief... And maybe just a bit down at his arse-

_NO NO NO NO NO!_

* * *

Harry awoke that morning with a slight feeling of dread. After all, not only had Hermione been acting strange, she was asking him out on a _date._ Well, not so much asked as... Shanghaied him into it. Still, after how badly things had gone with Cho he decided he should probably try to make more of an effort on this date. It was his best friend, after all... And that kiss had been nice.

Rather, _kisses._

"Er... Dobby? Dobby?" He muttered into the still deserted Common Room, just as the sun began to peek through the windows. The little house elf appeared in a flash, beaming cheerfully.

"Harry Potter Sir called?"

Harry smiled. "Ah... Hey Dobby. I was wondering if you could help me put together a... A picnic lunch? Hermione and I are going on a-"

"Date?!" Dobby gasped, slapping his hands together. "The Great Wizard Harry Potter Sir is having Dobby make sure things with his Hermy go properly?!"

"Well, yeah," Harry said with a smile, and raised hands. Dobby lowered his volume, just a bit, having seen this expression from Harry before. Several times, actually.

"Dobby will prepare a sumptuous feast, yes he will!" Dobby said eagerly. "Dobby will do everything to ensure Harry Potter sir is happy with his Hermy on his date! Oh, thank you for trusting Dobby with this task, Harry Potter sir! Where will the date be taking place?"

"Ah... Just a nice spot along the lake," Harry said with a shrug. "I'll figure out where we'll go. Then set up."

"Then Dobby will be on hand for everything Harry Potter Sir needs!" Dobby said eagerly, again barely containing his joy. Harry raised his hands again, which confused the house elf. "Is Dobby being too loud again, Harry Potter Sir?"

"Er, no, it's just that... I'd like privacy for the date, you know? Just... Us too?" Harry said. "I mean, after you set up and... And everything..." Oh man, he felt horrible saying this. Sure, Dobby could be annoying... _Very _annoying... But he was still Harry's friend.

Dobby, much to Harry's shock, nodded as though understanding completely.

"Harry Potter Sir wants to be making happy fun times with his Hermy! Dobby _completely_ understands! No interrupting!" Dobby said cheerfully. Harry's face again turned bright red, and he shook it frantically.

"I-Wait, that's not what I-!"

"Harry Potter Sir deserves to relax! So does his Hermy!" Dobby leaned in, raising a hand to his mouth and faux whispering. "Hermy _and_ Harry Potter sir both so high strung. Harry Potter's Wheezy _much_ more relaxed without happy funtimes. But Harry Potter's Wheezy probably able to relax without happy funtimes like that!"

Harry opened his mouth. Dobby stared at him.

"Unless Harry Potter's Wheezy joining in-?"

"NO! No he's not!" Harry hissed. Dobby nodded.

"Dobby understand! Not a worry, Harry Potter Sir!" With that, Dobby vanished. Leaving Harry rubbing his temples and wondering if it wasn't Hermione who had gone round the bend, but him...

* * *

The Main Hall entrance was nearly empty this early in the morning, which Harry was glad for. It seemed most students were in their common rooms or still sleeping at this hour. He made his way to the Gryffindor table, and a nice breakfast soon appeared in front of him. He sipped a goblet of pumpkin juice and dug into his scrambled eggs with a happy sigh. Now that he thought about it, was everything really so bad right now? Okay yeah, Umbridge was a nightmare. The Ministry was denying Voldemort's return. Hermione had apparently gone off the deep end, but realistically, was it that bad?

At least she just wanted to enjoy life, rather than bring down the castle with explosives. He had seen a few of her speculative plans when she thought he wasn't looking.

_The kisses really helped, too,_ his libido pointed out. _And how warm and... Bouncy she felt against us-_

_No, no, focus on something else,_ Harry thought quickly. _I'm just going to pump her for information and have a nice day out, that's all, that's-_

He was hugged tightly by someone warm and _very_ female, and Harry jerked his head up and to the side to see into a pair of warm brown eyes.

"Morning Harry!" Hermione said brightly, squeezing him once more before she stood up and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "Ready for our date?"

"I..." Harry's mouth came to a dead stop as he got a look at what Hermione was wearing. In theory, it was just the standard school uniform sans the robes and her tie. But the blouse seemed tailored to show off her curves, the skirt was just a bit shorter than it should have been, and why were those stockings so very, very _interesting_ now...?

Oh. He could see they were on _legs._ Wonderful, wonderful legs.

"Should I take that as a yes?" Hermione asked primly. Harry very dumbly nodded. She beamed. "Good! Finish your breakfast, and then we'll go!" She sat down and dug into her own food, moaning eagerly. "Ohhh... God _yes,_ potatoes with _ketchup!_Mmmmmm~!"

Harry found himself watching her eat, and her reactions, _and_ how her adjusted clothing looked on her as she threw her head back, moaned, writhed a bit in pleasure-

_Pumping her for information. Right,_ his libido (sounding suspiciously like Ron) commented sarcastically. Harry grimaced.

_Shut up!_

In another part of the castle, another Harry Potter stopped in front of the library. He scanned the area, his face set in a deep frown. His objective was in the castle, this he knew. But where could it be...? Hedwig had given him a general layout and certain information but not as much as he'd like. Not enough for truly in-depth-

"Oi, Potter!" Malfoy barked. Harry slowly turned his head and assessed the Malfoy scion as he and a few other Slytherins approached.

"Malfoy," Harry returned in a neutral tone. The blonde boy sneered at him.

"What's this about you making moves on Pansy, hm? Isn't Granger gobbling your knob enough for you?!"

Harry considered an effective comeback, and sourced info Hedwig had gotten from the girls' bathrooms.

"Considering she's never touched yours, I thought she might enjoy being with a real man," Harry replied glibly. Malfoy's face paled in his rage. His hands shook as he began to reach for his wand.

"Oi! What's all this shite?" A redhead entered the hallway, glaring death at everyone save for Harry. While unexpected, Harry nevertheless adapted and smiled at Ron.

"Just a little misunderstanding, Prefect Weasley," Harry said politely. "Malfoy looked like he was about to do something he'd regret..." He slowly turned his eyes on the seething Draco. "But I'm sure he's changed his mind. Haven't you?"

Ron looked confused at the address. Malfoy sneered.

"Whatever Potter! Just stay away from what's mine," he hissed. He turned and stormed off, his lackeys in tow. Ron watched them go, and looked over at Harry with a grin.

"'Prefect Weasley', huh?" He asked. Harry blinked.

"Well... You _are_ a prefect, and a Weasley," he pointed out. Ron chuckled.

"Keep that up, Harry, and you'll turn me into _Percy._ Swelled head and all." He frowned. "Hey, something's different about you..."

"Oh?" Harry asked neutrally, his hand opening slightly to summon his wand to his hand. He could neutralize Weasley harmlessly in an instant, put him somewhere safe and continue his mission...

"New glasses? Wicked," Ron said with a smile. "Dressing up a bit for your date, huh?"

"Er..." That was unexpected. Harry slowly nodded. "Yes... I'm having some trouble with, well..."

"How to go about it?" Ron asked, rolling his eyes. "That's no surprise."

"It isn't?" Harry asked, confused. Hedwig's data from the girls bathrooms had seemed so informative!

Ron nodded, and clasped his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Relax Harry! I've talked to Fred and George plenty over the summer, and my other brothers and my dad just to be safe. Just listen to me, and Hermione'll be eating out of your hand in no time..."

"Hermione?" Harry asked. Ron glared.

"Well, it's not like you've got a date with _someone else..._ Right?" Ron asked with a hint of menace. Harry shook his head.

"No. Of course not."

Ron brightened. "Good! Then come on, let's get to breakfast and I'll tell you everything you need to know..."

* * *

Draco Malfoy was incensed. Nobody made a fool out of him! Well, nobody made a fool out of him and got away with it!

... Well nobody who wasn't a professor... Former Death Eater in disguise...

The point was, _Harry Potter_ didn't make a fool out of Draco Malfoy and get away with it!

"I dunno Draco," Marcus Flint pointed out, as he, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle stalked the hallways of Hogwarts to stake out the main entrance, "Potter's been on a knife's edge all year."

"All the more reason to push him harder," Draco said with a smirk. "We tweak him badly enough and bang! He's expelled! Easy pickings for the Dark Lord!"

"Draco, I don't really think that'll work," Goyle said. Draco scowled over his shoulder at the taller of his dimwitted bodyguards.

"Who asked you?"

"I'm just saying," Goyle said, a bit contritely, "that well... We haven't really gotten the better of Potter like... Ever."

Draco sneered at him. "So?! What, are you saying we just... _Leave him alone?"_

"Well... It... Kind of, yeah," Goyle said, shrinking back a bit. "I mean, ya know... What's it gonna do? You really think Dumbledore will just expel him?"

"Yeah," Crabbe said, "he's the Golden Boy, even with Umbridge around."

Draco stared in disbelief at his two thugs, and looked over at Flint. "Check for Polyjuice," he said.

"H-Hey! I'm just saying," Goyle said, raising his hands up. Draco scowled.

"And _I'm_ just saying, shut up!"

Goyle sighed. Crabbe patted his friend consoling on the shoulder, as Draco spun around and resumed his trek for the main entrance. Flint followed, giving Goyle a weird look.

"I told you he wouldn't listen," Crabbe said.

"Yeah, but I had to try," Goyle said with a shrug. "I mean, I wanted to just enjoy Saturday. Not deal with this shite..."

The Slytherin quartet arrived at the top of the Great Stairs, leading down to the main Hall entrance. They were just in time to see a bushy haired girl and a black haired boy head out, the girl looking particularly excited. Draco smirked.

"There we go! Let's spoil their day out!" He said. "C'mon, c'mon!"

They trooped down the stairs and slowly followed out the main doors. Which was a shame. If they'd waited just a bit, they could have seen the other Harry Potter enter the Main Hall with a very animatedly talking Ronald Weasley at his side.

* * *

The view from the hill near the Whomping Willow really was beautiful, Harry thought. The valley Hogwarts was hidden within stretched out before them in the early morning sun, birds sang, and the lake shimmered a gorgeous blue. The conjured picnic blanket they sat on allowed them a nice, warm, comfortable seat to take it all in from. And he had to admit, Hermione grasping at his arm and leaning against him was a very pleasant sensation.

"Amazing," she breathed softly. She watched a black butterfly float on the breeze, and gasped as the creature's wings lit up in a rainbow of color. "Absolutely amazing!"

"It's... It's just outside," Harry pointed out, a bit teasingly. "You've seen it before."

Hermione laughed, almost sadly. She shook her head, and looked up at the bright blue sky with a thoughtful smile. "Yes... Yes, I suppose I have," she said softly. "But a different perspective on the world, well... It makes everything look brand new. Like a miracle come to life. More... More _real,_ I suppose."

"I suppose," Harry admitted with a smile. "So... About this new view... It all started with that computer, you know." He eyed Hermione a bit, and the bushy haired girl blinked quizzically back.

"What? You think it put a spell on me or something?" She asked, with a giggle that was a tiny bit forced. Harry shrugged.

"I... I guess so," he admitted. "I mean, you've been acting really..." He shook his head. "_Differently..."_

Hermione batted her eyes, and kissed him on the cheek. "Bad different?" She asked. Harry's cheeks were bright red.

"Ah... W-Well... No, no! Definitely not bad, not at all."

"But still different, hm?" Hermione asked. Harry nodded. Hermione sucked in a deep breath, and looked thoughtful. Almost as though she was trying to figure out how to dumb down something she'd learned for him. It was a familiar expression and it cheered Harry up immensely.

"Let's... Just say that, well... In light of everything, we need to cherish what we have," she began slowly. "I mean, Dark Wizards, nearly dying every year... We need to live like we might not have the time! We need to make room for what we _want_ to do. We can't just let what people think our fate is dictate how we live our lives, right?"

Harry smiled. "You know... That makes a lot of sense," he said. Hermione nodded.

"Exactly! So! We need to seize the moment! Take chances! Get messy!" The bushy haired girl grinned. "And maybe indulge in fantasy! After all, you never know if it might come true... Right?" She asked, her eyes half lidded and voice smoky. Harry blushed, and felt incredibly awkward. All the same, he managed a nod.

"I... Right," he said. Hermione kept smiling at him. Harry coughed. Hermione kept up her smile. Harry shifted... And realized, hey, maybe he should _do_ something? Something... Impulsive?

Well, what did he want to do?

Right. That would work. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her tight against him. He leaned his head against hers, and sighed. She sighed back.

"... This your fantasy?" Hermione suddenly asked. Harry flushed, and shrugged.

"Well... Not exactly, but it is something I've wanted to do," Harry said. Hermione's eyes glinted.

"Would you let me do something _I've_ wanted to do?" She asked, almost innocently. Harry smiled back at her.

"Hermione, you know you can do anything you want with me... I mean, er, you know, within reaSON?!"

Hermione _pounced_ on him, and he felt like she was trying to lick his tonsils with how deep her kiss was. Her hands bunched up his shirt as she writhed on top of him. His hands found themselves to her hips as he held on for dear life through his first real snog. That thing with Cho was a wet, distant memory.

"Hwah," Hermione gasped, pulling back with a red face and bruised lips. "Haa... How's that?"

"... B-Brilliant," Harry managed softly. Hermione grinned.

"Good! Because this is just the start!"

"Uh, Her-Hermione," Harry sputtered, as her hands roamed his chest, "ah... M-Maybe we could... Slow down-?"

"I'm not removing your pants right now, am I?" She asked with a smirk.

"... Good point...?" Harry squeaked.

"Right! That's not for another five minutes."

"Five min-WHMPH?!"

* * *

In the Great Hall, Harry Potter was now down to nodding as responses to Ron Weasley's constant chatter. Admittedly, it was nice to get insight on the castle from the perspective of an inhabitant but he felt no closer to his mission objective than he was an hour ago.

"... And finally, man! You have to absolutely ignore their feelings," Ron said. "This is essential."

"Mmhm," Harry managed, studying the food in front of him.

"I mean, the absolute _best_ fights are those with girls who fancy you," Ron said. He held up a hand. "Now I know what you're thinking. Don't I argue mainly with Hermione? Sure, but that's more like... Like sibling fighting. Besides," and here the redhead made a face, "she acts like my _mum."_

"Uh huh," Harry said. Ron frowned, and checked the clock.

"Oi, Harry! Weren't you supposed to be on your date with Hermione by now? I mean... You didn't tell me the time, but uh..."

"Right. The date," Harry said with a nod. "Good idea. Actually, suggestion."

"Hm?" Ron asked, in the middle of some bacon.

"Why don't you come with me?" Harry asked. Ron actually choked on his bacon, and a helpful Dean cast a Spew Charm that let him dislodge the chunk of meat. "Haa... Thanks Dean," Ron said.

"Just try to chew more often, I can't do this all the time," Dean groused. Ron turned back to Harry, still staring.

"I'm... Sorry, you want me to what?"

"Come along. Just act as a lookout, and give me advice. Secretly," Harry suggested. "After all, you know where we're going...?"

"Hill by the Whomping Willow, of course," Ron said with a nod and an immensely relieved look. "Sure! Let's go."

* * *

"H-Hermione!" Harry gasped, as she nibbled on his chest. She'd gotten his shirt off a few minutes ago, and had been working on his pants before he'd stopped her. Unfortunately this just gave her time to get _her_ clothes off, and she was now down to her bra and panties. Very nice underwear, very lacy, and deep red. He had no idea Hermione had owned any such underwear, and hadn't even thought about it!

... Well maybe once or twice...

But his libido was in a desperate race with Harry's fear of hurting his friends, and the latter feeling was currently lapping the other as he scrambled behind a rock. "Hermione! Hang on! We're-We're out in the open!"

"So?" Hermione asked, panting softly.

"Anybody could see us!" Harry hissed. Hermione frowned.

"And... Your point is...?"

Harry stared in slack jawed amazement at his female best friend, and not just because she was nearly naked. She huffed and crossed her arms under her breasts, pushing them up against her brassiere.

"Honestly Harry," she said, almost exaggerated, "you're _used_ to getting attention, aren't you? Why not for something you actually did?"

"Shagging my best friend in the open isn't something I want to be known for!" Harry cried, as Hermione began to circle around the rock. He moved back, keeping the stone between him and her. Hermione got a calculating look on her face.

"Who said anything about _shagging?_ I was just going to snog, in my underwear..." She shrugged. "But! If you insist!"

"I-I didn't-ACK!" Hermione just leaped up over the stone and pounced him again. "HERMIONE!"

A slow, sarcastic clap filled the air. Both Harry and Hermione looked up. Hermione let out an 'eep!" as Draco Malfoy, his bookends, and Marcus Flint all leered across the field.

"Well, well, well," Draco sneered. "Moving on so quickly from Pansy back to your Mudblood?"

Harry was simultaneously enraged, confused, and... Well, Hermione was still straddling him so it wasn't _just_ anger...

"Wha-MALFOY!"

"For shame, Potter," Draco smirked. "Having your way with Granger outside like this. I expect you'll lose _all_ your House points for this."

Hermione frowned. "Excuse me, but the prize of the Point System is... What, exactly?"

Draco scowled. "The House Cup? At the end of every year? What, when you got your tits did you lose your brains, Granger?"

"My tits and brain are both fine, thank you," Hermione said, unconcerned that she was being ogled in her underwear. "I'm just saying that the contest seems like an excuse to make you kotow to the teachers. Like a bunch of bootlickers." She gave Draco a wry expression. "Though judging from your behavior I'd say that's all you know how to do."

"I don't have to take this from some Mudblood _whore!"_ Draco snarled. Harry immediately went for his wand, as Draco pulled his own. He was faster, very fast thanks to the DA but it was all too slow as Draco pointed his wand, and opened his mouth to Curse him-

A plastic-looking disc flew in front of them, glowing bright green. The curse left Draco's wand, and then bounced off at an angle. The disc floated there, before flying back. Every eye traced the flight path, and Harry saw the expressions on the Slytherins' faces: Shock, disbelief, even a bit of fear.

They paled next to Hermione's reaction though: She wore an expression of complete and utter horror, as another Harry Potter caught his disc and glared at the Slytherins.

"You're interfering in my mission," he said coldly, Ron slack jawed next to him. "And attempting to harm my objective." His eyes flashed green.

"This cannot be allowed."

* * *

_CTRL-ALT-DIE..._


End file.
